Chapter 35: Princess Knight
"I don't have much so maybe we can go outside. Ah, but you like quiet places right? Then maybe we can do homework together. If you don't mind of course. Oh, it will be fun!" Miki was tugging him by the wrist. It fucking hurt, but he didn't have the heart to disturb her cheery attitude. "We are almost there," she said with a grin. "Don't push yourself too hard. Feel at ho. . . Mom?!"
Her grip flew away before the round woman with a snug print flower dress turned, a pile of leaves at her side. Her features resembled Miki's, wrinkles slicing her face like a misshapen clay figure. Kiyoshi tensed. Her smile was saccharine with a sinister air behind it. When the woman's eyes set on him, it was as if the devil itself had unleashed.
"YOU! YOU! YOU! What are you doing here?! Get back to the hole you came from, demon child!" She raised the broom and swung it at him.
Kiyoshi evaded the attack, a gust of wind whisking his hair. Miki wedged between them, but he couldn't avert his gaze from the woman, blood-red face screaming in an unknown language.
Covering his mouth, he swallowed the rising bile and food. The world spun. His legs lost strength. Crashing on the ground, he squeezed his stomach empty.
Amidst the unstable world, he picked himself up stumbled away. Far from the woman, far from the pain. His sight was smeared with pulsating dark spots and his mouth had an awful bitter taste.
Reaching corner, he tripped on a pebble or his own feet, crashing to the ground.
Everything went dark.
When he regained consciousness, the sky was orange. He winced before noticing a tender and warm feeling on the back of his head.
"I'm glad you are awake," Miki's subdued voice carried a smile. "I found you collapsed on the street." Kiyoshi wanted to ask where he was but his head throbbed too much to care. He hoped he didn't have a concussion.
Miki's fingers gently playing with his hair was a new experience. He kind of wanted her to stop. "Let me know when you are feeling better," she said.
They lingered in silence until Kiyoshi felt darkness settle around them. Lamplights flickering as he opened his eyes, he clumsily searched for his bag while trying to adjust to the lack of daylight.
Unable to smile at his lover when she extended the item, he merely chugged down the bottle and spit on a neighboring bush. The following sip caused a misplaced breath, forcing him on a violent coughing fit.
Mikio caressed his back but Kiyoshi instinctively cringed, moving away. He heard Mikio apologized.
His breathing soon steadied. He cleared his throat and gathered a deep breath.
"I'm sorry for what my mom did to you." He was apologizing too much. "I thought she was working. She didn't tell me she would come home early," he huffed.
Kiyoshi silently strode to the bench and gazed at the ground for a while. "How did you think this could ever work?" he eventually asked. Mikio didn't reply. "Hirawa, answer me."
"I kind of wanted you to get used to the place before you met her. She can be very temperamental, you know? Haha."
"Don't take me for an idiot." He shoved himself on the backrest. "If there is a woman that I'm more scared than my Mother." His finger twitched. "It's the one who fractured my leg. You know, I'm used to being thrown around." No, he wasn't the victim in this case. He wasn't the only victim.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Kiyoshi muttered. "That I. . . "
The air around Hirawa changed. Guilt, shame. Maybe it was his imagination; he hoped it was. "I. . . I'm so sorry. My stupid mom--"
"That's not the problem! I had to know! I hurt you! I had to know!" He gritted his teeth. "Don't you care about what I did to you?"
Miki gazed at her right leg and grasped her knee. "Not really. I'm not like you, Ryuugamine-kun. I don't care about my parents. If I have a regret about my father leaving us, is that mom pushed me to become like a man."
Kiyoshi gasped. "Your-your father left you after the incident?"
Miki smiled sadly, gazed fixed on her damaged limb. "You don't have to feel responsible about that. They weren't particularly fond of each other, and he wasn't much of a father to me." Her smiled dissolved. "Sometimes I think he wanted an excuse to leave. It's fine, really," she sprung. "He would have forced me to be a man. I don't need him."
"I'm so sorry."
"I told--"
Kiyoshi enveloped his arms around her, a feather touch. "I'm sorry people don't treat you how you want to. You have gone through so much and people just assume who you are with one look. It's unfair."
Miki clutched his shoulder. Her fingers trembled. ". . . Thank you. Say, Ryuugamine-kun, do you remember the first time we met?" Time had muddled that day so many years ago. Nevertheless, he said yes. "I mean in Kidokawa."
He answered a moment too late, uncertainty slipping from his lips a second time. Miki realized this.
"Which day am I talking about?"
"Uhhh. . ."
She gradually pushed his shoulders, spreading her arms to their full length. Her eyes were wide and her smile was manic. Kiyoshi winced, nails piercing his arm. She demanded an answer.
"Um, um, the rooftop!" God help him.
"You don't remember we talked before?" His base instinct was to make excuses, but he managed to bit down his stupid tongue. She let out a cracked laugh and slid a hand down her face before placing it back and digging harder. "Why did you finally notice me that day?"
His face flushed with shame. Miki's eyes were deep and menacing, freezing him with terror. The incorrect answer would cost him, maybe with his life, but he didn't want to lie.
Miki drawled the question, tilting her head and spreading her thin lips. He stuttered for a while before shutting his eyes, begging to God he wasn't killed today. "I--" he sucked in a breath. The world was swirling again, some inexplicable cold shaking his body to the core. "You showed interest in me. Romantically."
After a dreadful moment of silence, Miki slipped her hands off with a bitter chuckle. "You were excited to do those kinds of things with me. I knew boys were perverts, but I didn't think you were like them."
Kiyoshi whimpered. She was right. He wanted to apologize, but he had a feeling it would hurt her. Miki stood and walked away as if she had witnessed her world crumble before her eyes.
⚽🐰⚽
On the way home, he tried recalling a former conversation with her. However, his mind was blank. Until the afternoon she made contact, she didn't exist and Kiyoshi loathed it because it proved her right.
"I need your help," were Kiyoshi's words when the best person to discuss this issue picked up his cellphone. He heard his friend perk up like a puppy, ready to lend a hand. It took a while to explain the situation, taking out details that would expose Hirawa as the girl Keima met. As much as it pained Kiyoshi, he spoke of her as "the boy he injured years ago." The question was, "should he continue making contact with Hirawa, despite their previous connection?" Keima was quiet for a while, and his initial advice was the least certain Kiyoshi had ever heard.
"If he doesn't care and wants to be your friend, then maybe it's okay?" Keima grumbled something farther from the speaker Kiyoshi couldn't make out.
Kiyoshi buried his chin on the torso-sized bunny. "Yeah, I guess. But I feel I shouldn't. It's like. . ." He clenched his jaw. "I hurt him, Kei. I did something terrible. Do I have the right to want to befriend him?"
"You want to be his friend?" Keima echoed.
Kiyoshi blinked like a deer in headlights. "I want to talk to him?" This feeling wasn't there before. When did it sprout? When did he become open enough to actively desire human company?
A familiar scream startled him, jerking him out of last night's conversation. Kiyoshi turned around.
Hirawa was growling at her presumed friends. Again.
"Ha, we saw you Hirawa! You went after the outsider the other day."
"I didn't! Don't assume crap. Where's your evidence?" Her lips were tugged in a crooked grin as if the conversation was a joke.
The chubby guy snorted and elbowed the one beside him who flinched and rushed to adjust his glasses. The latter joined, "I saw you! I saw you! Huh! You went to the third floor and came back after Ryuugamime left with a girl. Huh!"
"You stalked me?! I knew you were idiots but not disgusting garbage."
Holy shit. This wasn't their usual skirmish.
The group had drawn the gazes of most of the people who hadn't left for their clubs or home. They kept teasing, and after a certain nasty word, Hirawa finally snapped. She took the chubby guy's collar and drew her fist back.
Kiyoshi stood up but Mikio lowered her hostile stance in an impressive feat of self-control.
Should I help her?
The shitbags mocked. "You are such a pussy."
Can I do something?
"I knew you didn't have the balls hit him. Huh!"
Is it alright to care about her?
Miki's fist trembled.
"You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to. You know that."
"Stop." The rest had scrambled out, disgusted at the mess these guys unwittingly caused. They were at the bottom of the social ladder for a good reason. Fortunately, the peaceful silence gave him the needed strength. "Don't you see you are hurting her? Aren't you three friends?"
"Mind your own business, sunshine," the chubby one mocked. "We are talking to our fag of a friend," he said, gesturing Hirawa with a smile.
Kiyoshi glanced between Miki and the two assholes she called friends. "Hate me whatever you want but don't bring he--Hirawa into it. It's childish." He didn't think either would have the guts to actually rise from their seat. Kiyoshi quickly added. "Don't you think you should ask what really happened?"
The guy raised an eyebrow and exchanged glances with his idiot buddy. "What were you doing that day Hirawa?"
"Yup, yup, if you weren't stalking Ryuugamine, what were you doing? Huh!"
Kiyoshi sent her an encouraging look. Miki stared dully at each of them before voluntarily deciding. "It's none of your business, idiots," she spat, shoving Kiyoshi towards the open door.
They were far from the classroom, about to miss the stairs while Hirawa kept pushing. Kiyoshi frantically tried peering at Miki for answers. She asked if they could go to the rooftop. He nodded immediately.
When he pushed the battered door open, she hugged him from the back and wept bitterly.
Kiyoshi felt his heart clench as if Hirawa's pain had reached it. He felt her loneliness, her frustration, her anger. Or so he thought. Being in her place must be much more painful.
"I'm sorry for putting you through that," Hirawa said, voice hitched. "You helped me out when I didn't lift a finger for you. I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me."
Kiyoshi hiccuped and covered his trembling lips. "No, I may have done the situation worse by getting involved."
She laid her burning forehead on his exposed neck. Her shallow breaths tickled his back. "Why did you do this?"
"I don't know. You reminded me of my younger self. No one helped me when I was picked on despite telling them to stop." He began walking towards the bench. She stumbled behind him with a frail grip. "Do you wanna sit?" Kiyoshi asked as he wiped his face.
Miki silently accepted and freed Kiyoshi, his chest lightening its load.
"I hate them," she grudgingly admitted.
Despite a throbbing headache, he wanted to reply the obvious: they were garbage people to be around. Instead, he carefully explained his intent. "I wanted to give you a chance to be honest with them. If there was hope you three became closer."
It took a moment for Hirawa to understand. "I see. Thank you. But. . . I guess I noticed, a little. I'm not ready. I'm scared." She blurted, "but thank you."
Kiyoshi sat beside her. "It's okay."
"Living honestly is hard." Miki pursed her lips. "I have been invisible my whole life. I never considered telling them the truth. They know nothing about the real me. I can't imagine them accepting me." Kiyoshi considered an answer when Hirawa continued with a smile. "You know, meeting you here really changed me." She rubbed her hands with awkward tension. "I put on that dress the first time only a few weeks ago, and you know, something finally felt right! It wasn't my imagination! I'm not delusional! I don't read shoujo manga because I'm a wuss! I-I. . . I." She leaned to the side, away from Kiyoshi, lacing her fingers with crossed wrists. "Being called a guy feels wrong. Wanting sculpted muscles is disgusting. Liking girls is strange. I want to be one." She hugged herself, shoulders dropping. "I'm sorry I called you a pervert. You have been nothing but nice to me."
Kiyoshi waved his hand. "I can't deny what you said. Actually, I kept thinking about it." She nudged him to continue with a look. "It's. . . true that I want to do that kind of thing with someone. But recently I haven't felt that. I think I just wanted to be feel loved and needed. It's like--it didn't matter what love it was." He stared at the sky. There was a big puffy cloud in the middle of the blue. "My family gave me the love I needed, and in turn, I became confident enough to return some of it."
"I'm happy for you," Hirawa whispered.
Kiyoshi smiled. "Thanks."
"So, um." She scratched the back of her ear. "What kind of love do you want from me?"
Kiyoshi titled his head. "What do you want from me?"
Miki flushed. "I asked first!"
Kiyoshi puffed his cheeks. "You were the one who came looking for me. You have the right to answer first."
Miki looked away but soon tilted her head back. Her lips were cutely pursed. "I may or may not want you to teach how to be feminine." She clutched her neck. "The thing that you did when we kissed." Kiyoshi felt the heat rise to his face. The things he did in the heat of the moment. "Those are things women do in Western films."
"Yeah, I know!" Kiyoshi yelped. In which disgusting heterosexual movie did he see that? God, he wanted to hide in a hole now and never climb back. "I-I mean. I do-don't know if I ca-can teach that kind of thing but--I know how to cook! And stuff." Yup, he'll teach that instead. It must have been so weird for her, considering she is a girl. Worried he scarred her for life, he apologized.
"No, no, um, it was a good reference." Beet red spread on her soft features and Kiyoshi looked away in embarrassment. Could a dying goose play on the background to show how both were hella ashamed right now?
"So, um, do you not want to be a couple anymore?"
Miki uncovered her face. He silently thanked her for evading his eyes. "Uh, I'm sorry. I think you are a great person. I do want to go out with someone who accepts me like you but--I don't know. Maybe we can start as friends. Can't we?"
Kiyoshi smiled with genuine delight. "I would like that. I think someone would be happy I'm friends with a girl." He extended his arm and stroked her coal-black hair. He wanted to protect her and see her smile like this, just like Keima. Even if the feeling wasn't as strong, or he truly had no right to be close by, she needed him. Both wanted to be around each other. It was an intentional relationship. Was that not good enough?
Miki hugged him. "Thank you. I finally feel like I exist. You are like a prince," she whispered, her wounded heart at peace.
Kiyoshi reddened. "What? I'm not a prince. Not at all!"
She pulled away with a giggle. "But your name, Ki-yo-shi. It's super prince-like. Ah, but Kishi sounds nice too. A knight."
"A knight is someone who protects people," Kiyoshi clarified. Miki said she felt supported back there. To that, Kiyoshi grumbled his reckless attempt was kinda lame.
"But we are friends, right? Friends have each other's back! That's what they say in those mangas," she commented, folding her fingers to a gun and shooting.
The words sparked Kiyoshi's memories. "Friendship. . . A friendship of pain. Hurt one another. Protect."
Miki titled her head. "A friendship of protection?"
Kiyoshi brooded. "A real friendship. . . is a relationship and allows two people to protect. . . one another."
Miki giggled in delight. "It has a nice ring to it. Like out of a manga." She echoed the words, staring at the sky with a contented smile. "Can I call you Kishi then?"
Kiyoshi fiddled with his thumbs and pouted. "I'm a long way from being someone honorable. I want to do my best to become a better person." The red oni had been quiet for a while. Maybe it had gone back to sleep without his knowing. He could only trust he knew himself enough to not lose his way again, so he didn't commit the same mistakes.
Miki beamed a supportive smile. "Then I'll hold off until you become the kind of person you want."
Princess Knight | End